England's greatest Hoax
by CaraIsTrash
Summary: Based on a face-book post about Australia not being real, and being massive hoax made by the British. Rated T to be safe. England didn't know America could reach this kind of stupid. Sure the nation was always a little oblivious, but this time he'd really done it. Poor Australia is already so cut-off from the world, and now America is trying to convince everyone he isn't real.


It was ridiculous, preposterous, and absolutely idiotic.

Yet America believed anything, so what was he to expect?

England thought his day would be filled with the usual nonsense and loud mouthed countries arguing, but oh no, today was filled with a new kind of stupid. As usual he straightened his tie outside the meeting door, knowing full well he was late. Tardiness came after looking like proper gentlemen though.

The loud ruckus could've been heard a mile away, but the once-empire had gotten used to the ear-numbing sound. With a long-suffering sigh, England opened the doors to the UN meeting room and walked inside.

What his eyes met however, was nothing short of a war.

And not another world war, although he would have preferred it to this.

On one side, America was standing in front of a large group of nations consisting of France, the Italy brothers, Spain, Greece, Poland, Denmark, Prussia, Russia and his sisters Belarus and Ukraine, along with a scared Baltic trio, while shouting across the room to the other clique.

On the other side, Australia was standing with practically every other country present behind him including; Germany, Netherlands, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Iceland, Austria, Hungary, New Zealand, China, Japan, most of the other Asian nations, Canada and Romania.

Switzerland and Liechtenstein just sat at the back of the room looking amused.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?!" England shouted, silencing the yells.

"Finally!" Australia said in relief. "England, set these drongo's straight!"

"I don't know what you just called us, but England is answering some questions first!" America countered.

"What in the name of the queen are you two arguing about?!" England said, annoyance already causing his face to redden.

Australia and America usually got along well enough, they used to have spats back in WWII, but they'd been on relatively good terms ever since.

"He thinks I'm not real!" Australia pointed to America accusingly.

"You're not!" America said. "England was just covering up a mass murder of convicts! It's all one big lie!"

England groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "Is that was this is about?"

"YES!" All the countries in the room said.

"I'm guessing everyone behind America believes that I staged a century long hoax about Australia being real so I could get away with a mass-murder?" England said with a sigh.

"YES!"

"Then everyone behind Australia believes that's utter bullshit?"

"YES!"

"Lord save us," England muttered.

"C'mon Iggy, you're the only one who can set the record straight! Own up and prove them wrong!" America said obnoxiously.

"First; don't call me that you git. Second, how the hell could I spare the time and money to keep something like that running?" England said, utterly done with everyone.

"You pay actors to be the people, the flights really take you to a reserve in New Zealand, and you computer generate the rest of the people and news!" He said triumphantly.

"Shut up Yanky, how the hell could he do all that back in the settler days?" Australia said.

"It was different back then, I just don't know why he keeps it up," America exclaimed.

"If I'm not real then how in the name of Steve Erwin am I here?!" Australia shouted, obviously fed up with the older nations idiocy.

"You're a paid actor too!"

"I've known you for a century!"

"New actors!"

"You've got a screw loose, mate!"

"And you're not real, so HAH!"

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Germany finally said, slamming his hands onto the table. "This argument is pointless, just let England explain why America is wrong and we can finally get work done!"

"But Germany, England will cover it up!" Italy squeaked from America's side.

"You idiot, America is wrong!" Germany ran a hand through his slicked hair.

"Ah, that is where _you're_ wrong _mon amie_!" France said. "It is just like _Anglettere_ to make up some colony to cover up his crimes."

"Yeah west, give it up already!" Prussia laughed.

"Another word from you and I'll hit you with my frying pan, Prussia!" Hungary threatened.

"That won't be necessary Hungary, if you hit him again he may get more stupid," Austria cleaned his glasses.

"Hey, I heard that!" Prussia countered.

"Swe, why are we even apart of this?" Finland mumbled.

"Because Switz won't let us be neutral with him," Sweden said, emotionless as ever.

"That's right, and don't you forget it." Switzerland cocked his gun, ignoring Liechtenstein's worried look.

"Denmark, why are you even on their side?" Norway raised an eyebrow.

"Because I'm a sucker for a conspiracy!" Denmark cackled.

"Romano, come on, let's just leave the fighting to them, you don't really believe this do you?" The only Spaniard in the room asked.

"Of course not bastardo, I'm no idiot, but this is a front row seat and I'm hoping for a fight," the Italian grinned maliciously.

"I am surrounded by idiots," multiple people from Australia's side murmured.

"Aus, c'mon let it go, he's just messing with you," New Zealand tried to say.

"No way Kiwi, this brat is serious and I'm going to let him know he's not right." Australia said back, the koala on his shoulder glaring at America.

"Nuh-uh, I'm the hero, so I'm always right!" America shouted.

"You must be off your rocker to think you can win this here fight!" Australia glared just as menacingly as his koala.

"I will win, because you're the villain and I'm the-"

"Oh for the love of- AUSTRALIA _IS_ REAL!" England couldn't stand it any longer. "You're all bloody idiots, Germany was right, Australia is real and I'm going to give back Switzerland's right to use a gun in meetings unless you all make up right this instant!"

Switzerland clicked the safety off his gun and gave the other countries a smug look.

Everyone was silent.

"B-but-" America whimpered.

"No buts, apologise to Australia," England scolded. "How you got it into your head that he wasn't real, I'll never know."

"Alright," America whined.

The nation made his way over to Australia and mumbled something that sounded like, 'sorry', looking down at his feet all the while. The brunette sighed and looked at America for a moment before grinning.

"No worries mate, just don't go believing everything you hear from now on, ok?" Aussie said, patting America on the back.

"Ok, ok, just don't set any of your weird animals on me," America scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "I really am sorry."

"Like I said, no problem. How about you visit and I can show you Australia's real first hand?" The oceanic island offered.

"Aw yeah, that'd be sweet dude!" America brightened up.

"Finally, now that that's dealt with, can we get to work?" England said, taking his seat at the table.

And so they got stuck into the meeting, and not even 5 minutes after they were fighting about something else again. Everything was back to normal.

* * *

 **Authors note:**

 **Hey, I hope you enjoyed this one-shot!**

 **I got the idea for this when a friend mentioned to me that she was scrolling through tumblr and found that someone took a screen-shot of a facebook post by a flat-earther. This person had stated adamantly that they believed Australia to be non-existent, and I immediately thought of Hetalia. Is that bad? Anyway, if you want to find it, search #AustraliaisNOTreal I'm sure it's there somewhere in images.**

 **This is my first fic on this site, so I hope it's decent! I would greatly appreciate it if you left your thoughts as a review. Was it funny? Was the portrayal of some characters off? I'm not familiar with the Nordics, so I'm not sure how I did…**

 **Again, thanks! Don't forget to review, favourite or recommend someone else give this one-shot a read!**


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